The Harold we all knew and loved

this will possibly be crossposted on Anonymous Spaghetti

I’ve mentioned before about the whole multiple blog syndrome.  I’ve also noticed that Anonymous Spaghetti – originally Harold’s blog for certain things here and there – has been mostly silent of late.  The few blogs over there have been forced when I think I simply must post something — anything.

Not good.

With that in mind, and knowing myself better than most, I’m going to cave and see my PCP about going back on antidepressants.  I’ve mentioned before that I have some of the same feelings I had during the whole PTSD episode.  Some are different though.  The profound sadness and the emotional feeling of swimming under water are more than likely signs of a form of clinical depression.  I’ve been down that dark ugly road before and most times I can pull myself back.

Aparently not this time.

While there is no stigma – to me anyway – about mental illness, I loathe the numb feeling that happens when I go on antidepressants.  There is such a feeling of not being me that I truly hate.   However, in the face of facts from which I cannot hide, apparently this is the direction I shall have to go. 

It simply must be better that the deep darkness of abyss rife with danger and paranoia in which I currently reside most often with a truly frightening stranger ….

…and most frightening?  the stranger — I fear — is myself.

****

ahhh another one from The Fells Point Pirate Invasion of 2007.  This is a group of people doing the Fells Point Ghost Walk near The Wharf Rat in Baltimore.  Harold was out in full force that evening having himself a goodtime and taking a few truly remarkable photos.  This appealed because the people appear as apparitions — perhaps even from another era — with the street sign in full color relief.  Sometimes I truly do miss Harold’s presence.  May he return soon.

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